We've heard the expression a hundred times, "If you want to feel good, if you want change in your life, you can't bring your old baggage with you." Well, that’s what I want to talk about in this blog. I will share my experience about a childhood event and how it clogged my energetic light field. And how I found a way to start feeling safe and loving in my own body once again.
When I was about 11 or 12 years old, my girlfriend invited me to her birthday party.
I was so excited. This was my first time going to a party with other kids! I did my hair, wore my new fluorescent blue jersey dress. (It was the 80s.) I still remember putting on my earrings. I felt good.
I went over all the matriarch rules in my head:
- Don't do anything stupid.
- Don't say anything stupid.
- Use your manners.
- And most importantly, watch out for boys!
I didn't pay much attention to them. I heard them a billion times. I was simply going over to my girlfriend's house. What could go wrong?
I strutted out of my house with confidence since my leg warmers were hiding my furry little legs. I had my chin held high with my newly bleached mustache. My feminine energy was out full blast for the very first time. I walked in feeling good. If this were a movie, we would just be finishing the montage part.
The layout of my friend's house was a carbon copy of my grandparents' house. It was like being in the matrix. As usual, the adults were all downstairs laughing and talking, and all the kids were on the main floor watching tv. What else would we be doing? It was just another friend from school and me with the rest of her family.
Just a good old-fashioned neighborhood birthday party.
After a bit, my school friend went downstairs to get something to eat. I watched the show when two of the older boys stood in front of the only door to the room. The next thing I know, the tv gets turned off. I'm keeping cool. I remind myself that all the parents are downstairs. I'm not in one of those dark alleys my Nonna always worried about. I'm not doing anything weird or wrong. I'm just sitting here. But I can start to sense darkness in the room. My spidey senses begin to tingle. (Yes, I even had them back then.) I stand and walk towards the door casually when one of the boys shoves me back on the couch. He looks straight in the eye at me and says,
"Don't mind us if you get pregnant!"
(Wow, now that's some goody bag for this party. And to think, all I got my friend was a shirt and a pair of earrings for her birthday!)
I'm kidding; it’s how I deal with uncomfortable situations.
Of course, the truth was, I was in shock.
How could this be happening? I followed every rule. I did everything I was told. Yet every horror story my family warned me about was unfolding right before my eyes! And I had a starring role.
Dammit, I knew I should have taken karate!!
I thought, screw these guys. Well, not literally. I was like, what the fuck is this shit? I leaped off that couch like a caged mountain lion. I was swinging, screaming, kicking anyone that came close to me. No one was going to mess with this hairdo. My adrenaline was through the roof. What felt like an hour was probably a couple of minutes. My girlfriend's sister finally heard my screams and came into the room and broke up this mess with an announcement that it was cake time.
Are you kidding me!!
What the fuck?!
Your family just tried to rape me in your living room, like a bunch of pent-up hormonal monsters who spent too long in Sunday school -- and you're offering them dessert?! So, I'm supposed to go downstairs and celebrate as if nothing happened? I wanted to walk down there and scream, "Your children are monsters. Even if they were just kidding around, their message and intent were awful. I'm 11! "
I wish that's what I said. But I didn't. Instead, I was in shock. I obeyed. My first birthday party ever, and this happens! Now, I was fortunate that the only thing they got to touch was my hair sprayed helmet of a hairdo. But I was still traumatized by the event. I can't imagine how someone feels after they've been sexually assaulted. I simply can't imagine it. And I'm sorry if that has happened to you. I truly am.
I called my uncle right away to pick me up. My uncle always reminded me of a cross between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito. I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to take him into the house and show those little fucks that they messed with the wrong family. I wanted him to treat them like a pinata hanging from a tree.
But If I did this, I figured two things were going to happen. Furst, ten black Cadillacs--okay, three black Cadillacs--were going to show up at this house with bats in their hand. And I'm pretty sure the people that would get arrested weren't the guys that caused this whole mess in the first place. And second, this would be the last birthday party I would attend for the rest of my life.
While I stood on the stairwell waiting, I did what any Italian girl my age would do. I gave them my first ever evil eye.
Every single one of them.
Now, I don't need to provide you with the details of what happened to them that month. Let's just say my girlfriend had a new family trauma story to tell every week. I'm not boasting that my evil eye worked because this episode isn't about how to create and manifest the perfect curse -- but that would be a good one. This is story is to show you how easy it is for a program to get trapped in your energy field. This event has affected my relationships and relationship with men and myself for my entire life.
I probably could have used a lighter example, and I apologize if I upset anyone, but it's a black and white example of how we can carry an event throughout our lives. And carry it in a manner that does not serve us.
We have hundreds of these tiny programs playing subconsciously in our energy field that were created from events in our lives.
So, it's not so much that you're filled with anxiety, or you're too sensitive, or you're crazy. It's just that something has triggered one of these hidden programs and has released the chemicals tied to that experience into your body. That’s all it is.
Before we begin, I just want to be clear: this is how I dealt with helping myself release old blocks, old beliefs, and other traumatic experiences. I'm not a doctor or a licensed therapist. I'm just sharing my process with you, hoping that it will help you feel better in your life because you know what? You deserve it! Remember that. And no schmuck or experience should rob you of a happy life.
So how does a program or a block get created in our body?
When we have a traumatic experience, we automatically try to bury the pain. It's a safety mechanism for our brains. So, we cut ourselves off from the physical body by taking our consciousness away from that experience. Next, we cut off our thoughts and emotions by tensing our muscles and repressing them into our unconscious. To keep this buried, we create all kinds of distractions to take our attention away. You may overwork, turn to food, drugs, or alcohol, or simply detach entirely and become a couch-potato.
We may even start to project and blame others for the state we're in instead of healing and releasing this pain. We believe that the only way to eliminate this pain is to block it and stop the energy flow. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. We never want to prevent energy from flowing through our bodies because when we stop the flow of energy, we cut ourselves off from the positive experiences of life. You may not even be aware that you're doing it because you've done it since childhood.
So right now, you may feel disconnected from yourself because of this block. Most likely, you've created mighty walls around your wounds. This act makes it feel impossible for you to reach your core, to reach your inner light. It also makes you feel separate from everyone and everything in your life.
When we stop the energy flow within the body, the painful experience moves into your emotional field. There, it freezes the event in time and energy. This is what we call a block in our field. This block will remain frozen and adversely affecting your life until we thaw it out – just like a piece of meat. If we don't release this energy, it can become so dense it can start to make you sick.
The emotional energetic layer is where we store our emotions about ourselves. So, when it gets contaminated by the trauma, our self-image changes. We start to feel sad, guilty, angry, shameful -- whatever feelings were tied to that experience.
So, let's get that crap out of your energetic field!
Whether it's someone else's energy, an old belief, an old program – it doesn't matter. If it doesn't make you feel expanded and feel good, it's time to reclaim your true self and get it out!
We create most of these programs in childhood. Usually, before we even know what's going on. That's why it's a good idea to re-evaluate what you want to keep and update it, or what you simply want to get rid of. This baggage is not worth keeping. It's preventing you from reaching your superpowers in the quantum field.
The First Three Energetic Light Bodies
I'm going to focus on your first three energetic light bodies and how they work. I'm going to simplify this to give you an awareness of what's going on. So, let's start with the third energetic level and work our way down from the lightest to densest of these light bodies.
If you look at this image, this is how the gradient of light in your field works. It isn't about positive or negative. It's just the amount of light that each level holds.
The Third Energetic Light Body:
This light body holds your thoughts. This is the level of self-perception. It’s basically how you think of yourself.
Now, here's an example of the thoughts that may have been created after my event:
- I am not safe.
- Do not let your feminine side out.
- You can't trust men.
- I sent out the wrong signal.
- Don't be too happy.
These thoughts in my head have a frequency, and unfortunately, it's a low frequency. So, if I don't heal from the wounds of my past, every time an event triggers me, I will think those same thoughts, and my body will produce the same chemicals that were present when the traumatic event first happened.
My subconscious mind does not know the difference between what happened in my past and what is happening now to make it even worse. That's why changing your thoughts is so important. There's a chain reaction.
Change your thoughts, change your life.
The Second Energetic Light Body
The second energetic light body is the emotional layer -this level is associated with how you feel about yourself.
When you're happy and have positive programs, this layer is bright and colorful. But when you hold on to old emotions tied to old beliefs, you may feel shameful, small, weak, sad, angry, and guilty about yourself. This energy will appear dark, like lead in your energy field. This can start to make you sick because it ripples into the physical. You can see how when we move through these energetic light bodies, we become more “matter, “which is dense, and less “energy,” which is light.
So, let's act like alchemists and start to transmute that lead into gold!
The First Energetic Light Body
The first layer is the etheric energetic light body- this is the layer where you feel your pain and tension in your body.
It’s in this light body where energy gets trapped and stored. It affects your nervous system, your muscles, even your cells. So again, you can see how being in your body can start to feel uncomfortable. Even a simple touch by someone can trigger me to think of that event again, and out comes the hellcat!
Understand, my body doesn't want me to forget about it. It thinks it's trying to protect me. That's why I may complain of a stomachache, lower back pain, or headaches when these thoughts are triggered.
Once I started to see my energetic light bodies in this way, I began to identify where I was holding and storing my old programs. I did this from a space of awareness, so it became easier and easier to catch their effects when triggered without having to live through the pain attached to that story. I knew it was time to update my energetic light bodies and rewrite my blueprint.
If the pain and the emotions are extreme for you, know that you can reach out to energetic healers and counselors to help you through this process. You don't have to do it alone.
My story and my tips are meant to help you start getting the energy moving through your body and help you understand that you are not your body, emotions, or thoughts. Know that you are simply a light being having a human experience. We are just cleaning out your avatar (your physical body) to make more room for yourself—space to have and to create the life you are meant to live.
So, here are some tips that helped me. You are going to need a pen and paper and a quiet space.
Tip # 1
Let's start with the third energetic light body: your thoughts.
What are your thoughts about yourself? For example, I am... (fill in the blank).
And then write them down. Don't edit your thoughts or your writing. No one will read this. Burn it after if you want. Once you've written down these old programs, you can start to rewrite and update them.
If you want to practice and do more profound work with this energetic light body layer, I have a video called "The Key to Manifest Faster" to help you find high-frequency words to replace the old ones.
For your Emotional, Energetic Light Body.
Find a quiet, uninterrupted space. Focus on your breath and tap into your second layer of your energetic light body. It's approximately 1-3 inches around your physical body. Notice what comes up for you. Do you see images or events? Can you feel them? Notice how you connect to this field. Does it feel expanded and full? Or does it feel more like armor around you?
Now write down your triggers. What ticks you off? What gets your blood boiling? People, places, behaviors. Whatever it is, just write it down like a stream of consciousness. There are going to be emotions attached to events that you've never allowed yourself to express. Whatever comes up in your healing experience -- from laughing or crying to being angry. Just release and flow.
As you build emotional awareness, this can help you to identify the emotions that are affecting you. This way, you don't have to store them in your mind or your body anymore.
Whatever emotions that come up, know that this is wonderful. Embrace them. You are tapping in and releasing trapped energy. You're doing the work, and remember you are not your emotions; they are just part of your avatar. They're there to give you a message and move on. You don't have to be identified by them.
Once you start to release these emotions, you may want to go back to rewriting some of your thoughts about yourself from Tip #1. Now you can begin to see how these three energetic layers connect in the space of awareness.
Now take your time with this one. Sit quietly with yourself. Notice where you are holding tension in your body, and gently place your hand on that spot.
Imagine loving light flowing from above your head down into your heart through to your arms and out your hands. (Be your own healer) allow whatever emotions to come up and out. You don't have to hold on to this tension anymore. It's like releasing that trapped bird and letting it fly away. You're removing trapped old energy by doing this. Take your time and allow your physical body to receive this upgrade. You may even feel lighter afterward.
Please understand; we're just getting our feet wet here. Energetic light bodies are a vast topic to tackle. I wanted to show you a map of how you can unlock those memories that prevent you from a happy life. You can begin to release that old baggage and start to connect to the quantum field.
Why? Because the more light and love you bring into your body, your avatar, the stronger and more present you become. You're becoming less “matter’ and more “energy.” This is going to help you speed up and attract what you want.
I hope these simple exercises and tools help you to start to feel lighter and brighter in your life.
Remember, you are light having a human experience. You're not your body, your emotions, or your thoughts. I am sending you lots of love. If you want more information, I will make videos on each energetic layer to give you a deeper understanding. In the meantime, look around the website for other tools and information to help you on your journey.
Until next time, I'm Marisa Grieco, your Mystical Guide.